I recently reviewed my journals from 2007 to 2013 to discern key lessons learned. Countless hours were spent alone, and with wise counselors, wrestling with my leadership at New Life and my own internal”demons” (Matthew 4:1-11). These are the top questions to which I repeatedly return to in prayer:
- What is success for me as the Lead Pastor? What is God’s unique shape for me?
- Feelings aside, what is best in the long-term for NLF?
- What might I be avoiding? Am I staying with the “uncomfortable” in order to get to the goals I believe God has for NLF?
- How much of my avoidance of difficult issues is driven by a need to be liked?
- Am I doing anything that soothes my anxiety but betrays my integrity?
- Am I making room for the space and time I need to provide overall leadership and guard the values and vision?
- Am I staying focused on the small items and steps that will get me to the goals I believe God has given me for NLF? Am I distracted by other things?
- What does it mean for NLF to operate out of a higher-level of integrity in this next season?
- Am I creating a life in God that is truly a gift to others? Or am I creating a life that externally proves my worth and value?
- What are the next concrete steps in light of my goals? How long will each of these steps take? Have I taken out my calendar and looked at what I will need to say ‘no’ to so this can happen?
Is there an easier way for us as leaders to wrestle with these kinds of questions without “sweating drops of blood”?