NEW E-BOOK

LeaderSHIFT: 8 Pivotal Breakthroughs of Emotionally Healthy Leaders

LeaderShift eBook

Personal Assessment

How Emotionally Healthy Are You?
Take a free 15 minute personal assessment now!

*We respect your privacy by not sharing or selling your email address.

Personal Assessment

📣 FLASH SALE - ENDS 7/31

PURCHASE THE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY LEADER BOOK FOR 15% OFF

Discover Webinar

Close

Tag Archives: feelings

The Twelve Days of an EHS Christmas

The song, “The Twelve Days of Christmas” is an English Christmas carol. From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone then wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It had two levels of meaning: first, the surface meaning of being a fun song and secondly, a hidden meaning known only to members of the Church. The “True Love” in the song, for example, is not a smitten boy or girlfriend but Jesus, because truly Love was born on Christmas Day. Geri wrote this for our small group that meets in our home for greater integration of EHS in their own lives. I hope you enjoy it. On the First Day of EHS…My True Love Sent to Me One Gift to Explore My Iceberg Journal or share with a trusted companion today: What are you mad about? What are you sad about? What. Read more.

I Will Quit Denying Sadness, Anger and Fear

Many of us live inhuman lives because we believe inhuman rules like “don’t be sad”, “it’s bad to be angry”, or you’re weak if you’re afraid.” I will give myself license to feel all my feelings and not mark any of them as bad or weak. ALL my feelings are “guests” sent to teach me something. I won’t put them in the driver’s seat and let them control me or put them in the trunk and ignore them. I will pay attention to them all and then decide what to do with them.

Leadership and Differentiation: Part 3

Having too much to do in too little time is normal. Leighton Ford, my wise mentor for over 30 years, once told me: “Pete, the problem is that if you are faithful to Christ over the long-haul, the demands on your time and energy will only increase as you get older. This problem of having too much to do in too little time is never going away.” The great challenge is to lead yourself first. Consider the following reflections (written to myself) from my journal: Be calm and clear about yourself.  You can only be clear about where you are and your own “true self in Christ.” Your inner tensions today are a call from God for additional time for prayer and reflection to wrestle with your “inner demons”  so that you can to listen to His will and priorities (See Matthew 4:1-11). Hold onto what God has given you to do and do. Read more.

Leadership and Differentiation: Part 2

I recently reviewed my journals from 2007 to 2013 to discern key lessons learned. Countless hours were spent alone, and with wise counselors, wrestling with my leadership at New Life and my own internal”demons” (Matthew 4:1-11). These are the top questions to which I repeatedly return to in prayer: What is success for me as the Lead Pastor? What is God’s unique shape for me? Feelings aside, what is best in the long-term for NLF? What might I be avoiding? Am I staying with the “uncomfortable” in order to get to the goals I believe God has for NLF? How much of my avoidance of difficult issues is driven by a need to be liked? Am I doing anything that soothes my anxiety but betrays my integrity? Am I making room for the space and time I need to provide overall leadership and guard the values and vision? Am I staying focused on the. Read more.

Shame, Guilt, and Leadership

How much of our leadership is actually driven by guilt and shame? In broad terms, shame has to do with feeling about who we are; guilt is related to our feelings about what we do. They both rob us of the profound experience that we are God’s beloved children. We may feel deep, hidden shame about who we are because of addictive behaviors or dysfunctional choices. We may feel shame due to negative messages from our family of origin – “You are no good.” “You’re a loser.” “You’ll never amount to anything.” Then there is the shaming nature of so much Western Christianity. As one author said, “My very being was so sinful that God himself was enraged.” She recognized later that she was trying to repent her way out of what she thought was guilt. Some of us don’t need to repent. We need to be rescued from our shame. Ask the Lord to. Read more.

Rediscovering the Prayer of Examen

About a month ago, a friend sent Geri and I a wonderful little book, Sleeping with Bread, by Dennis, Matt and Sheila Linn. I had read the book a number of years ago but God has used it to reignite the examen as an integral part of our daily lives once again. It has been wonderful. Yesterday, I ended my sermon on “Disorientation and the Plan of God” out of Isaiah 43 by leading our church through an examen. The handout is below. Check it out. The Prayer of Examen Nov. 1st, 2009. An adaptation by Pete Scazzero from “Sleeping with Bread: Holding What Gives You Life”, by Dennis Linn, Sheila Fabricant Linn and Matthew Linn  Introduction:  One of the ways God speaks to us is through our deepest feelings and yearnings, what Ignatius of Loyola (1491-1556) called “consolation” and “desolation.” Consolations are those experiences that fill us with joy, life, energy and peace. Desolations. Read more.