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The Twelve Days of an EHS Christmas

Posted on December 30th, 2015

The song, “The Twelve Days of Christmas” is an English Christmas carol. From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone then wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It had two levels of meaning: first, the surface meaning of being a fun song and secondly, a hidden meaning known only to members of the Church. The “True Love” in the song, for example, is not a smitten boy or girlfriend but Jesus, because truly Love was born on Christmas Day.

Geri wrote this for our small group that meets in our home for greater integration of EHS in their own lives. I hope you enjoy it.

On the First Day of EHS…My True Love Sent to Me

One Gift to Explore My Iceberg

Journal or share with a trusted companion today:

  • What are you mad about?
  • What are you sad about?
  • What are you anxious about?
  • What are you glad about?

On the Second Day of EHS…My True Love Sent to Me the

Two Most Important Skills

  • Listening for feelings – yours and theirs.
  • Speaking honestly and respectfully.

The return will be out of this world.

On the Third Day of EHS…My True Love Sent to Me 

Three Generations That Live Inside of Me

Living your life without understanding your family’s impact on you is like driving a car forward by using only a rearview mirror. Jesus may be in your heart but grandpa is in your bones.

On the Fourth Day of EHS….My True Love Sent to Me 

Four Ways to Exit My Stress Style

  • Don’t appease, declare yourself.
  • Don’t blame and don’t attack, assert yourself.
  • Don’t avoid the issue, face it.
  • Don’t just look at the problem, take all parties feelings into consideration.

On the Fifth Day of EHS…My True Love Sent to Me The

Five Freedoms


  • to see and hear what is here instead of what should be, was, or will be.
  • to say what one feels and thinks instead of what one should.
  • to feel what one feels, instead of what one ought to.
  • to ask for what one wants, instead of always waiting for permission.
  • to take risks in one’s own behalf, instead of choosing to be only “secure” and not rocking the boat.    — Virginia Satir’s Five Freedoms

On the Sixth Day of EHS…My True Love Gave to Me

Six Minutes for Reflection

Henri Nouwen said it best: “Half of life is reflecting on what is being lived. Reflection is essential for growth, development, and change. It is the unique power of the human person.”

On the Seventh Day of EHS…My True Love Sent to Me

Seven Phrases to Love Well

  • I appreciate
  • I’m puzzled
  • I notice and I prefer
  • May I have permission to read your mind?
  • Can I check out an assumption?
  • Can I clarify an expectation?
  • What do you think and feel?

On the Eighth Day of EHS…My True Love Gave to Me

Eight Steps to a Clean Fight

  • State the problem. “I notice…”
  • State why it is important to you. “I value…”
  • Fill in: “When you…I feel…”
  • State your request clearly, respectfully, specifically.
  • Give the listener space to share their perspective on your request.
  • Allow the listener to share whether they are willing to do all of it, some of it, or none of it.
  • Agree or offer an alternative.
  • Together, write an agreement and go over it in 2-4 weeks.

On the Ninth Day of EHS…My True Love Gave to Me

Nine Important Feelings to Feel

Hurt, Fear, Sadness, Anger, Shame, Joy, Hope, Love, and Gratitude

On the Tenth Day of EHS …My True Love Gave to Me

Ten Biblical Commandments to Free Me

God invites me, like Abraham, to leave my culture, family, and country and do the hard work of discipleship, being transformed into a mature man/woman in the new family of Jesus. In this way I am freed to offer my life as a gift to the world.

On the Eleventh Day of EHS…My True Love Gave to Me

Eleven Steps to Live with Integrity

When something is bothering me, I journal around the following sentence stems:

  • Right now the issue on my mind is…
  • My part in this is…
  • My need in this issue is…
  • My feelings about this are…
  • What my reaction tells me about me is…
  • This issue is important to me because I value… and I violate that value when…
  • I am willing/ not willing to…
  • One thing I could do to improve the situation is…
  • The most important thing I want you to know is…
  • I think my honest sharing will benefit our relationship by..
  • I hope and look forward to…

On the Twelfth Day of EHS…My True Love Gave to Me

Twelve Transformed Life Scripts

  1. It is good that I exist.
  2. It’s okay to have fun.
  3. It’s okay to make mistakes and not be perfect.
  4. It’s important to share what I think and feel.
  5. Take risks. God will meet me there.
  6. It is important that I assert myself as an image bearer of God.
  7. My feelings and thoughts are important.
  8. I am loveable.
  9. It’s okay to trust people.
  10. God loves me and I am good enough right where I am.
  11. It’s okay to be weak.
  12. I am not responsible to do for others what they can and should do for themselves.
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