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Category Archives: Clarify Expectations

Clarify Expectations and Change Your Life

Unmet and unclear expectations create havoc in churches, families, friendships, marriages, and leadership teams. We expect other people to know what we want before we say it, especially when we know them well. The problem, however, is that most of these expectations are 1. Unconscious; 2. Unrealistic; 3. Unspoken; and 4. Un-agreed upon. In this podcast, I talk with Rich about the power of this Emotionally Healthy Relationship Course skill to transform our lives and teams. We discuss how the issue of expectations intersects with discipleship, job descriptions, and the grief we experience when they remain unmet. Listen at the link below. LISTEN HERE I am also very excited to announce that The Emotionally Healthy Leadership Conference Video Package (May 3-4, 2017) is now available for only $49. Not only will you receive our best and most current thinking about EHS as a radical discipleship paradigm for the 21st century, you will also learn. Read more.

5 Common Mistakes Pastors Make at Christmas

It is hard to be a Christian at Christmas – especially for pastors and leaders. Why? We can blame the culture, the powers and principalities that want to cut us off from Jesus, or the unrealistic expectations people place on us. While these are indeed factors, the primary responsibility rests with how we understand our role as leaders. These are 5 common mistakes we make: 1. We skimp on our time with Jesus in our work for Jesus.  As a result, we preach revelations about the eternal Word of God assuming human flesh without the time to swim and worship in the wonder of it all. The pressure of too much to do, in too little time, causes us to push a button into an “autopilot” spirituality. We speak of profound spiritual realities, but our hearts slowly shrink. What can we do? Follow Jesus by going off “to a solitary place and pray” (Mark 1:35).. Read more.

The 4 Questions of Emotionally Healthy Supervision

Every year at our Emotionally Healthy Leadership Conference I am asked: “How is supervision in an emotionally healthy church different? What makes it distinct?” In emotionally healthy teams, role expectations are openly talked about and agreed upon. We evaluate how we are doing. But that is not enough. How people care for their inner lives is also important. The question is, “How important?” The answer is: “Very important.” Minimally transformed leaders will always result in minimally transformed teams doing minimally transforming ministry. How could we expect it to be any other way? As a result, there are four areas that we ask about on a regular basis: 1. How is your walk with Jesus? In other words, tell me about your rhythms of being with God and doing for God. How are you living out of your Rule of Life in this season? How has God been coming to you? I was so blessed. Read more.

The Leader’s Spouse, Part 2: An EH Leader Podcast

The conversation with Geri Scazzero continues in this second segment of The Leader’s Spouse podcast. In this podcast, Geri shares candidly: The hazardous “second hand smoke” experienced by a leader’s spouse Overfunctioning and God’s invitation to quit overfunctioning as a gift of love and maturity for others and yourself Living your one unrepeatable God-given life To read more, see The Emotionally Healthy Woman. Click below to watch the video or the link to listen to the audio file. LISTEN HERE

An Emotionally Healthy Christian is Hard to Find!

The wide disconnect between our spirituality and emotional health remains one of the greatest challenges in the church today, especially among us as leaders. The following is a modified, slimmed down version of the widely used EHS Personal Assessment found on our website. (We will be using this with our small group on Thursday night). It is also found in The Emotionally Healthy Relationships Course. The following list of statements offer a brief assessment of where you are on the continuum of being an emotionally mature Christian. Next to each statement, write down the number that best describes your response. Use the following scale: 5 = Always true of me 4 = Frequently true of me 3 = Occasionally true of me 2 = Rarely true of me 1 = Never true of me _____  1.  I am deeply convinced I am loved by Christ, and do not inappropriately borrow that love from others.. Read more.

The Twelve Days of an EHS Christmas

The song, “The Twelve Days of Christmas” is an English Christmas carol. From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone then wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It had two levels of meaning: first, the surface meaning of being a fun song and secondly, a hidden meaning known only to members of the Church. The “True Love” in the song, for example, is not a smitten boy or girlfriend but Jesus, because truly Love was born on Christmas Day. Geri wrote this for our small group that meets in our home for greater integration of EHS in their own lives. I hope you enjoy it. On the First Day of EHS…My True Love Sent to Me One Gift to Explore My Iceberg Journal or share with a trusted companion today: What are you mad about? What are you sad about? What. Read more.