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As a young leader, I wanted so badly to succeed.
I wanted to pastor a growing church, and preach the best sermons in town.
I wanted to grow our ministries – bigger, better, and more influentual.
To this end, I was told by leadership experts to develop my skills and competencies. I learned to preach and vision cast, to exegete the scriptures, do effective evangelism, lead staff meetings, and launch small groups.
But over time these outward facing competencies became a WEIGHT that squeezed the life out of me.
To make a long story short, this is what catalyzed a complete revolution in me. I knew that I (and we) needed a massive shift in our leadership paradigm.
On today's podcast, we explore the GREAT SHIFT we need.
Or can you think of a recent moment where YOU let someone else down?
I'll bet the catalyst of these disappointments comes down to one thing - unmet expectations.
The truth is – unclear and unmet expectations have the power to rip apart relationships, divide staff teams, blow up families, and sink entire churches. That's why expectations are a matter of life and death!
There are 4 primary ways expectations go wrong:
- Your expectation is unconscious. You didn't even know you had an expectation until it was violated.
- Your expectation is unrealistic. It is not reasonable given the person or circumstance.
- Your expectation is unspoken. You did not clearly articulate your expectation to another person.
- Your expectation is un-agreed upon. The other person never agreed to follow-through with your expectation.
Take a listen to today's podcast.
Yet, in over 4 decades of leadership, I've found that so much of this pain is completely UNNECESSARY.
Why? Because much of the pain we experience is the fruit of wrong assumptions.
Assumptions are like a dragon that seeks to destroy our well-being.
When you and I make assumptions about others without checking them out, it’s easy to start telling ourselves stories about them in our heads that are not true. We are bearing false witness in our own thoughts, resulting in damaged relationships.
This skill is called "STOP MIND READING", and once you learn this, it could very well save your life and ministry.
Take a listen to today's podcast.
In over four decades of leadership, I've come to the conclusion that one of the biggest gaps in our leadership training comes down to one essential skill...
Creating safety where everyone around you feels empowered to communicate clearly and honestly.
Without this skill, church teams remain silenced - unable to speak truth and creating the conditions for an environment of frustration, resentment, and judgement.
On today's podcast, I'm joined by my wife Geri, as we explore the first of 8 essential relationship skills that every leader must adopt in order to unleash the God-given voice of our people.
We'll model a powerful skill called "Community Temperature Reading" and talk about how it applies to real life leadership scenarios.
Imagine leading a church where every staff, leader, and volunteer knows how to communicate clearly. Imagine a culture, where everyone feels safe to tell the truth and has the skills needed to do so. Imagine the unity that is possible when every voice is heard.
Take a listen to today's podcast.
It sounds far-fetched. But this is the question posed in As We Forgive - a documentary about the tragedies of the 1994 Rwandan genocide and the stories of two women as they came face to face with the men who killed their families.
It provoked the question - Would I be capable of forgiving my enemies like this?
This is the center point of Jesus' most shocking, counterintuitive teaching - "Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you." (Matthew 5:44)
In saying this, Jesus set a new benchmark for love. He turned the new world order upside down. For Christians, the key distinguishing mark of spiritual maturity is the way we love our enemies.
In today's podcast, I walk through the 3 reasons our love often stops short of this measurement, and what we can do to deepen the way we love others.
(Hint, this is all a precursor for where we'll be headed over the next several weeks of the podcast!)
Recently on the podcast, I shared 5 timeless leadership axioms - portable and powerful phrases that have become adopted by emotionally healthy leaders all around the world.
For example..."Jesus may be in your heart, but grandpa is in your bones".
It's an easier (and more playful) way of getting at the truth that everyone is deeply affected by their family of origin, going back hundreds of years.
Today on the podcast, I continue this series by sharing 5 new axioms that I believe you will find helpful. These leadership sayings are extremely useful to adopt as you build a healthy team and church culture.
This most often comes through the development of axioms - short, memorable phrases that capture the essence of truth in simple ways.
Reflecting on the last two decades of leading Emotionally Healthy Discipleship, I've been able to identify at least 10 core axioms (probably more like 25!) that have stood the test of time. In many ways, they are a "cliff-notes" introduction to an emotionally healthy church culture.
In today's podcast, I share the first 5 timeless axioms that have shaped the culture of what we call Emotionally Healthy Leadership. (ie. "Jesus may be in your heart, but grandpa is in your bones."
If you are a leader, these axioms are extremely helpful to use with your teams as simple ways to build a healthy team and church culture.
According to the World Christian Encyclopedia, the fastest growing stream of the church is the Pentecostal/Charismatic movement. In terms of overall numbers, it represents 644 million Christians world wide. This is 8.3% of the world population. By 2050, it will reach over 1 billion people. Unbelievable!
We need the power of God, gifts of the Holy Spirit, signs and wonders for the global mission of the church. Much of my personal spiritual and leadership journey was formed in the charismatic movement. We regularly experienced the outpouring of God's power in our church. It was electric.
And yet I was still proud, defensive, distant, not present, unable to connect relationally, conflict avoidant, unaware internally, and unloving. This disconnect is what led to the birth of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship.
In today's episode, I unpack 5 key contributions of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship that allow us to walk in the healthy, long-term release of God’s power.
For leaders, one of the most frustrating parts of decision-making is this...
It....takes....time.
Sure, sometimes quick decisions are necessary. But most consequential decisions (that shape the future of your life, church, and ministry) require the ability to slow down and wait. Usually for longer than is comfortable for you.
In order to let your judgments (discernments) come from deep within, you cannot in any way be pressed or hurried. You must wait.
To be clear, waiting does not mean you are doing nothing. You are doing the most important something there is. In today's podcast, I share more about what God is actually developing in you in times of waiting. Then I take time to address several questions listeners have submitted.
Decision-making is primarily about discernment. It's the ability to make decisions that align with God's will for your life and ministry.
The truth is - discernment is an art. It takes practice, attention, and a lifetime to develop.
But if there is one core practice that is the foundation of discernment, it is learning to pay attention to the movement of God in your own soul through consolations and desolations.
"Consolations and desolations" are terms offered by Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits over 500 years ago to describe the inner feelings that move you toward God and the ones that take you away from God.
Leaders who are able to slow down and pay attention to the inner work of God will not only be effective, they will be able to lead from joy, rest, and freedom.
One of the primary tasks of spiritual leadership is the ability to make prayerful, wise decisions.
Yet many leaders find it difficult to invest the time and space necessary for sharp discernment. The result is that our decisions become dull, lacking precision and power. Over time, flippant decision-making inflicts tremendous consequences on us and those we lead.
In the first episode of this new podcast series, we discuss the importance of boundaries to keep us surrendered to God’s purposes. Why? Because any time God calls us to a specific work, the devil tempts us to live beyond our boundaries. This happens in every season of our life!
When we discern and yield to the gravity of God's purpose, life flourishes. This is the first step to becoming leaders who make sharp decisions.
