January Webinar
eBook
Personal Assessment
How Emotionally Healthy Are You?
Take a free 15 minute personal assessment now!
Personal Assessment
In today's episode of The Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast, I'm joined by my longtime friend and the new President of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship, Drew Hyun, for a conversation unlike any we've ever released.
This is a new season for EHD—one marked by fresh leadership, expanding vision, and a renewed commitment to forming leaders around the world in a deep, beneath-the-surface discipleship. Drew and I look back on our 24-year history, the shaping influence of New Life Fellowship, and the surprising road that led him to carry this movement forward. You'll also hear how church planting, crisis, and personal formation prepared him for this moment.
In part two, we go deeper into succession—what it demanded of both of us, the internal work required, and the lessons every pastor or leader needs when stepping into (or stepping out of) significant responsibility.
Whether you're navigating leadership transition, rebuilding your soul, or discerning your next step with EHD, this episode offers a hopeful and honest invitation to join what God is doing in this new season.
This season has a dizzying effect on everyone - but especially leaders. One temptation is to put a smile on our face while skimming over the frustrations, disappointments, and other inner workings of our souls.
We have people and situations that are bothering us at a core level, but rather than leaning into difficult and heartfelt conversations, we choose instead to avoid them. When we do this, we step out of integrity.
This was how I operated for years as a pastor. I had people that were getting under my skin, but no tools to communicate what I was feeling in a healthy way. I chose instead to pretend I was feeling one way when secretly I was angry.
Take a moment to reflect. Is there a situation that is bothering you?
- A staff member is chronically late to team meetings
- Your children are texting during a family meal
- A volunteer is saying they are doing their role, but they clearly are not
- A church elder or board member is living a non-exemplary life
- Someone dropped the ball on getting out promotions for your Christmas Eve service.
To live and lead with integrity, we must be able to disentangle our emotions and values so we communicate them to others in a healthy way.
This is why my wife Geri and I developed a tool called the "Ladder of Integrity". It's a series of questions that we use to identify our emotions, values, and hopes. This allows us to communicate to others with clarity and kindness.
For the first 17 years of my Christian life, my emotional life was completely divorced from my spiritual life. Or so I thought.
When sadness, anger, or disappointment surfaced from my soul, I did not see them as gifts. As a leader, I saw my emotions as interruptions to "my real work" – moving the church forward and reaching the lost!
As a result, I was not present with myself, with God, or with others. I saw my sadness as something to be overcome through prayer and Scripture. I would declare, "the joy of the Lord is my strength!" while ignoring the deep cries of my heart.
The truth is that emotions never die. They are only buried alive. They always resurface, leaking into other parts of our lives and relationships.
It took a work of God for this to change in my life and marriage. When my wife Geri and I discovered the permission to explore our emotional life, it was like opening up a dam. The world went from black and white to color almost overnight.
Emotionally healthy leaders see their emotions as invitations, not obstacles to the mission of God.
The fruit of this journey leads to less anxiety and more freedom in our lives, leadership, and relationships.
In today's podcast episode, my wife Geri and I share more about the skill of emotional discovery we call "Explore the Iceberg" in Emotionally Healthy Relationships.
Bottom line, your emotional life is a matter of life and death!
Where did we get the idea that it's possible to be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature? In this podcast Pete explores the gaps in our theology that have caused such a tragic state of affairs in the church and outlines the core components of integrating emotional health into our discipleship and leadership development.
