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As a young leader, I wanted so badly to succeed.
I wanted to pastor a growing church, and preach the best sermons in town.
I wanted to grow our ministries – bigger, better, and more influentual.
To this end, I was told by leadership experts to develop my skills and competencies. I learned to preach and vision cast, to exegete the scriptures, do effective evangelism, lead staff meetings, and launch small groups.
But over time these outward facing competencies became a WEIGHT that squeezed the life out of me.
To make a long story short, this is what catalyzed a complete revolution in me. I knew that I (and we) needed a massive shift in our leadership paradigm.
On today's podcast, we explore the GREAT SHIFT we need.
Leaders, by definition, are captivated by the future – moving forward, making progress, and changing the world.
But what many leaders fail to appreciate is that we are all anchored in our past. In other words, none of us are "blank slates". We each bring the blessings and curses of our families of origin (Exodus 20:5) into our relationships, churches, organizations, and businesses.
Emotionally healthy leaders understand that you cannot go forward without first going backward.
That is why the GENOGRAM is one of the core tools in both parts of the Emotionally Healthy Discipleship Course.
When I became a Christian, I believed I was a "new creation" (2 Cor. 5:17) and that I no longer needed to deal with my past. However, when I discovered the genogram tool, I found a new way to bring all of the baggage of my family of origin to Jesus to be changed.
The truth is – you cannot change what you are unaware of.
In today's podcast episode, Geri and I share our history with this powerful tool and how it helped us name the reality of our past to catalyze the transforming work of Jesus in our lives and leadership. Don't miss this one!
Or can you think of a recent moment where YOU let someone else down?
I'll bet the catalyst of these disappointments comes down to one thing - unmet expectations.
The truth is – unclear and unmet expectations have the power to rip apart relationships, divide staff teams, blow up families, and sink entire churches. That's why expectations are a matter of life and death!
There are 4 primary ways expectations go wrong:
- Your expectation is unconscious. You didn't even know you had an expectation until it was violated.
- Your expectation is unrealistic. It is not reasonable given the person or circumstance.
- Your expectation is unspoken. You did not clearly articulate your expectation to another person.
- Your expectation is un-agreed upon. The other person never agreed to follow-through with your expectation.
Take a listen to today's podcast.
Yet, in over 4 decades of leadership, I've found that so much of this pain is completely UNNECESSARY.
Why? Because much of the pain we experience is the fruit of wrong assumptions.
Assumptions are like a dragon that seeks to destroy our well-being.
When you and I make assumptions about others without checking them out, it’s easy to start telling ourselves stories about them in our heads that are not true. We are bearing false witness in our own thoughts, resulting in damaged relationships.
This skill is called "STOP MIND READING", and once you learn this, it could very well save your life and ministry.
Take a listen to today's podcast.
