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5 Relationships Every Leader Needs to Flourish
Posted on: Tuesday April 16, 2024

✅ How Healthy is Your Leadership? Take this short and free quiz to find out. // https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/leadership-assessment/


The quality of the people who surround you will determine the success of your leadership. Because there is undeniable loneliness in leadership, it is ever more important that we evaluate our relationships on a regular basis.

Sadly, far too many pastors and leaders choose to go it alone, or surround themselves with foolish counsel (in the form of wrong relationships)

That's why in today's podcast, I explore the five types of relationships you need in your life in order to flourish as a leader or pastor.

Honestly, I wish I had this list 30 years ago. It would have saved me from confusion, foolish decision-making, and unnecessary isolation!
Archives: October 2023
Tuesday October 31, 2023

Leaders, by definition, are captivated by the future – moving forward, making progress, and changing the world.

But what many leaders fail to appreciate is that we are all anchored in our past. In other words, none of us are "blank slates". We each bring the blessings and curses of our families of origin (Exodus 20:5) into our relationships, churches, organizations, and businesses. 

Emotionally healthy leaders understand that you cannot go forward without first going backward.

That is why the GENOGRAM is one of the core tools in both parts of the Emotionally Healthy Discipleship Course.

When I became a Christian, I believed I was a "new creation" (2 Cor. 5:17) and that I no longer needed to deal with my past. However, when I discovered the genogram tool, I found a new way to bring all of the baggage of my family of origin to Jesus to be changed. 

The truth is – you cannot change what you are unaware of.

In today's podcast episode, Geri and I share our history with this powerful tool and how it helped us name the reality of our past to catalyze the transforming work of Jesus in our lives and leadership. Don't miss this one!

Tuesday October 17, 2023
When was the last time someone let you down?
Or can you think of a recent moment where YOU let someone else down?
I'll bet the catalyst of these disappointments comes down to one thing -  unmet expectations.

The truth is – unclear and unmet expectations have the power to rip apart relationships, divide staff teams, blow up families, and sink entire churches. That's why expectations are a matter of life and death!

There are 4 primary ways expectations go wrong:
  • Your expectation is unconscious. You didn't even know you had an expectation until it was violated.
  • Your expectation is unrealistic. It is not reasonable given the person or circumstance.
  • Your expectation is unspoken. You did not clearly articulate your expectation to another person.
  • Your expectation is un-agreed upon. The other person never agreed to follow-through with your expectation.
The good news is – this can all be remedied by learning the life-saving skill of Clarifying Expectations.

On today's podcast, I'm joined by my wife Geri, as we explore the third of 8 essential relationship skills that every leader must adopt in order to love and lead like Jesus.

Take a listen to today's podcast.
Tuesday October 03, 2023
Leadership can be a painful journey - especially in a church or ministry that depends on the depth and quality of the relationships within.

Yet, in over 4 decades of leadership, I've found that so much of this pain is completely UNNECESSARY.

Why? Because much of the pain we experience is the fruit of wrong assumptions.

Assumptions are like a dragon that seeks to destroy our well-being.

·      People quit their jobs over wrong assumptions
·      Churches split over wrong assumptions
·      Couples divorce over wrong assumptions
·      Families stop talking to one another over wrong assumptions.

When you and I make assumptions about others without checking them out, it’s easy to start telling ourselves stories about them in our heads that are not true. We are bearing false witness in our own thoughts, resulting in damaged relationships. 

The principle is simple: NEVER assume you know what a person is thinking or feeling.   
On today's podcast, I'm joined by my wife Geri, as we explore the second of 8 essential relationship skills that every leader must adopt in order to unleash the God-given voice of our people.

This skill is called "STOP MIND READING", and once you learn this, it could very well save your life and ministry.

Take a listen to today's podcast.