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Why Clarifying Expectations Will Save Your Life and Leadership

Posted on April 13th, 2020

I am joined in this podcast by Geri as we address one of the great challenges we face during of this prolonged, stay-at-home time in which we find ourselves – our relationships.  Covid-19 has radically altered our relationships at work, in our families, and with our friends. Thus, learning to love well as Christ-followers is one of the most important things we can do in this season.

In this podcast, we introduce a life-changing skill called “Clarify Expectations.”

Unmet and unclear expectations create havoc in our places of employment, classrooms, friendships, dating relationships, marriages, families, and churches. We expect other people to know what we want before we say it (especially if they are invested in the relationship).

The problem with most expectations is that they are: 

  • unconscious
  • unrealistic
  • unspoken
  • un-agreed upon

We all know the unpleasant experience of other people having expectations we never agreed to.

In order for an expectation to be valid, it must first be: 

  • conscious (I have to become aware of the expectations I have for the other person);
  • realistic (I have to ask myself if my expectations regarding the other person are realistic);
  • spoken (I have to speak my expectations clearly, directly, and respectfully to the other person); and
  • agreed upon (in order for my expectations to be valid, the other person must be aware of and agree to them; otherwise it is simply a hope).

Think of an expectation you have of a spouse, friend, roommate, boss, or family member with whom you live. Ask yourself: Am I conscious of what it is? Is it realistic? Has it been spoken? Have they also agreed to this? Sit down with them and discuss it. Seek to come to a mutually agreed upon expectation.

This one skill has the power to change your life, and your relationships, – if you will do it.

Blessings to you as you listen.


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