Category Archives: Differentiation

10 Turning Point Lessons from New Life

Character is more important than gifting. Being is more important than doing. Do not rush. When decisions were made quickly, without pausing to pray, think, and process implications, we have had regrets. Each leader need to take responsibility and initiative for their own growth and development. Clarity of vision results in a unified leadership, and unified leadership reinforces the vision. Extended Sabbatical rest releases new, life-giving initiatives from God and enables us to serve out of a cup that overflows. Face the truth and act on it, even if it hurts. Enforce our values. When we have compromised on this, due to expediency, it has been costly, damaging our integrity as well as our long-term mission and effectiveness. Be faithful to our “charism,” the grace from God that is uniquely ours. Learn from other streams and ministries, but be content in our particular gift and DNA from God. Intentional mentoring and development of individuals. Read more.

Face Your Shadow

Everyone has a shadow. Shadows are those untamed emotions and behaviors. They may be sinful; they may simply be weaknesses. Most importantly, they lie concealed just beneath the surface of our more proper selves. They may erupt in judgmental perfectionism, outbursts of anger, jealousy, resentments, lusts, greed, or murderous tendencies. At other times, they emerge through our need to rescue people, our seemingly endless need to be noticed, our inability to stop working, our isolation, or our rigidity. Our shadows are the damaged versions of who we are. They are the behaviors we use to protect ourselves from actually changing. We keep them hidden because they make us feel so vulnerable. Churches and organizations can develop a “shadow mission.” We want to reach people for Jesus Christ. That is good. The shadow of that is: “We are here to grow our numbers.” Many of us have wonderful public gifts in speaking and mobilizing people.. Read more.

Power and Dual Relationships

Power, along with dual relationships, is a minefield that has left countless leaders, along with their followers, maimed and disabled. The most painful lessons I have learned in my thirty-five years of Christian leadership have been around power and dual relationships. It has also been one of the greatest means God has used to mature me as a leader. Getting equipped to use our power well in order to free people, especially those closest to us, offers potential to advance Christ’s mission and release joy in ways we have never dreamed. Remaining uninformed, however, exposes us to deadly dangers –both to ourselves and those we aim to serve. I’ve been thinking on this for a number of years and am now writing on it for the book I am working on called: The Emotionally Healthy Leader (Zondervan, 2015). The following is a snippet: The 10 Commandments of Power and Dual Relationships 1. Be prudent, not. Read more.

Are You a Foolish or a Prudent Leader?

One of the great themes of the book of Proverbs is about wise (i.e. prudent) and foolish people. Note the following: The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways -Prov. 14:8 A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps.-Prov. 14:15 It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way. – Prov. 19:2 A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it. – Prov. 22:3 The word prudence refers to people who have foresight to take everything into account. They think long-term and give careful thought to their ways when they plan or make decisions. The simple, or foolish, as described in Proverbs, function very differently. They don’t want to do hard work of thinking things through and asking hard questions. They are hasty, impulsive, thinking only short-term, and. Read more.

The 4 Questions in “Christian” Decision Making

Christian leaders ask 4 “beneath-the-iceberg” questions before making important decisions and plans: 1. How might my shadow be impacting my decisions/plan? Is this about me proving something? Am I looking for validation from others? Is this about my own ambition? Am I free from my anxieties, disordered desires, and unhealthy attachments? Do I need to talk with a trusted friend first? 2. What impact will this decision have on God’s call for me to lead out of my marriage or singleness? Will this lead to a diminishment in my oneness and closeness with my spouse or enhance it? As a single leader, will this decision hurt my closest, delightful relationships and ability to have a joyful life outside of work? 3. Am I making this decision from a non-anxious, anchored place of loving union with Jesus? Is there a sense that I am striving or making something happen? Am I abiding in Jesus (John 15:1-5). Read more.

The 4 Questions in "Christian" Decision Making

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