Podcast - Emotionally Healthy Discipleship

Family Systems: The Invisible Force Shaping Your Church

Posted on: Tuesday March 03, 2026

Free Resource: Download the “8 Traps That Kill Your Spaciousness” ebook:
👉 https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/spaciousness

Churches don’t just have problems.
They are emotional systems.

In this episode of the Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast, I introduce one of the most powerful frameworks I’ve ever learned for understanding leadership, conflict, and why anxiety spreads so quickly in churches: Family Systems Theory.
Much of this work comes from psychiatrist Murray Bowen and was later brought into church leadership by Edwin Friedman in Generation to Generation. But don’t worry — we’ll keep this practical, spiritual, and grounded in real ministry life.
If you’ve ever:

Walked into a meeting calm and left reactive
Worked harder at someone’s growth than they are
Watched conflict spread like electricity through your church
You’re not crazy. You’re leading inside an emotional system.

The greatest gift you will ever give your church is not better strategy.

It’s your own inner transformation.
Emotional health isn’t a side issue.
It’s leadership.
Listen in.

Learn more about our School of Emotionally Healthy Leadership:
👉 https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/school

Download the “8 Traps That Kill Your Spaciousness” ebook:
👉 https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/spaciousness

Emotional health isn’t optional. It’s essential.

2- day conference for pastors and leaders seeking to build emotionally healthy church cultures.

September 30 – October 1, 2026
14th St. Salvation Army, NYC

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Archives:

Showing 41 to 50 of 380 Podcasts

Tuesday September 17, 2024

How to Grow a Flourishing Ministry Without Losing Your Soul

✅ PREVIEW THE COURSE - Ready to introduce your church to Emotionally Healthy Discipleship? Preview our game-changing discipleship course for FREE and find the right time to run it in your church. https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/preview

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As leaders, we have an internal drive to see our ministries flourish.

We have a vision for our churches, families, marriages, and cities to experience the resurrection life of Jesus. That's why we do what we do!

Also, many of us know how easy it is for our God-given ambition to be hijacked by our shadows, fears, and insecurities.

The truth is - it's possible to build a large ministry, but in the process, lose your soul.

On today's podcast, I hit this topic head-on and share with you 5 MUSTS for growing a flourishing ministry without losing your soul.

2- day conference for pastors and leaders seeking to build emotionally healthy church cultures.

September 30 – October 1, 2026
14th St. Salvation Army, NYC

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Tuesday September 03, 2024

5 Distinctives of an Emotionally Healthy Staff Meeting

✅ [FREE VIDEO] Learn a 5-part framework for communicating with others https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/community

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Staff meetings, like it or not, are a critical building block for an emotionally healthy church culture.

Over the years, I have learned that staff meetings are a powerful opportunity to bring encouragement, clarify roles, and learn how to be with Jesus together. There are books written about how to have a productive or efficient staff meeting, but in today's podcast, I take a different approach. I've identified 5 ways to cultivate emotional health in your regular meetings.

2- day conference for pastors and leaders seeking to build emotionally healthy church cultures.

September 30 – October 1, 2026
14th St. Salvation Army, NYC

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Tuesday August 20, 2024

Pt. 2: 4 Invitations from God in Our Politically Charged World

✅ [FREE E-BOOK] LeaderSHIFT: 8 Pivotal Breakthroughs of Emotionally Healthy Leaders https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/leadershift

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All around the world, there is an electrical charge surging through the minds and hearts of the people we lead. Our political climate has made this another difficult, yet important time to pastor and lead well.

So how do we navigate politics personally AND from the pulpit without falling prey to the common traps of both sides of the aisle?

In this podcast episode (Part 2 of 2), I share what I believe are 4 invitations from God to the Church in this moment.

Within these invitations are keys for us to lead with grace, steadiness, and wisdom, as we pastor our churches through this storm.

2- day conference for pastors and leaders seeking to build emotionally healthy church cultures.

September 30 – October 1, 2026
14th St. Salvation Army, NYC

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Tuesday August 06, 2024

Pt. 1: 4 Invitations from God in Our Politically Charged World

✅ [FREE E-BOOK] LeaderSHIFT: 8 Pivotal Breakthroughs of Emotionally Healthy Leaders https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/leadershift

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All around the world, there is an electrical charge surging through the minds and hearts of the people we lead. Our political climate has made this another difficult, yet important time to pastor and lead well.

So how do we navigate politics personally AND from the pulpit without falling prey to the common traps of both sides of the aisles?

In this podcast episode (Part 1 of 2), I share what I believe are 4 invitations from God to the Church in this moment.

Within these invitations are keys for us to lead with grace, steadiness, and wisdom, as we pastor our churches through this storm.

2- day conference for pastors and leaders seeking to build emotionally healthy church cultures.

September 30 – October 1, 2026
14th St. Salvation Army, NYC

Play Download Share

Tuesday July 23, 2024

The Great Leader Shift the World is Waiting For

✅ [FREE E-BOOK] LeaderSHIFT: 8 Pivotal Breakthroughs of Emotionally Healthy Leaders https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/leadershift

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As a young leader, I wanted so badly to succeed.
I wanted to pastor a growing church, and preach the best sermons in town.
I wanted to grow our ministries – bigger, better, and more influentual.

To this end, I was told by leadership experts to develop my skills and competencies. I learned to preach and vision cast, to exegete the scriptures, do effective evangelism, lead staff meetings, and launch small groups.

But over time these outward facing competencies became a WEIGHT that squeezed the life out of me.

To make a long story short, this is what catalyzed a complete revolution in me. I knew that I (and we) needed a massive shift in our leadership paradigm.

On today's podcast, we explore the GREAT SHIFT we need.

2- day conference for pastors and leaders seeking to build emotionally healthy church cultures.

September 30 – October 1, 2026
14th St. Salvation Army, NYC

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Tuesday July 09, 2024

How to Transition Well from Your Endings into New Beginnings

✅ [FREE E-BOOK] LeaderSHIFT: 8 Pivotal Breakthroughs of Emotionally Healthy Leaders https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/leadershift

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Loss, change, and transition are all around us.

Yet, one of the lesser-known practices of emotionally healthy leadership is learning how to let go and transition from one season to the next. Throughout our lives there are countless endings and new beginnings that invite us to pay attention:

Closing a chapter of life, Leaving one church and joining a new one, Starting a new job or role, Moving away or into a new home, Changing relationships, Succession and release of leadership

In every transition, there are gifts waiting to be discovered if we are able to slow down and reflect in gratitude. When we rush through transitions, giving little thought to what is happening, we actually miss out on the hidden ways God is trying to come to us.

In this podcast, I explore this theme further and share insights on how we can navigate transitions well.

2- day conference for pastors and leaders seeking to build emotionally healthy church cultures.

September 30 – October 1, 2026
14th St. Salvation Army, NYC

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Tuesday June 25, 2024

Rethinking What It Means to Be a Pastor or Leader in 2024

✅ How Healthy is Your Leadership? Take this short and free quiz to find out. //

https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/leadership-assessment/

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Churches have all kinds of expectations of pastors and church leaders. There is a certain pressure that you must be able to cast vision, teach and preach, lead and inspire staff and volunteers, build teams, and keep ministry momentum in all areas.

The problem? Everything on this list is EXTERNAL. Very few churches and pastors see their INTERNAL life with God as part of their job description.

For this reason, we must become increasingly serious about leading from a deep inner life with God (not just gifting and skill).

On today's podcast, I will share some of what I've been sharing with many pastors. How we should design every part of our lives (rest, work, prayer, and relationships) around the love of God.

2- day conference for pastors and leaders seeking to build emotionally healthy church cultures.

September 30 – October 1, 2026
14th St. Salvation Army, NYC

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Tuesday June 11, 2024

Emotionally Healthy Parenting, Pt. 2: Four Ways to Make a Lasting Impact

🎯 SKILLS FOR FAMILIES: Learn a powerful 5-part conversation tool and teach your family.
https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/community

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It's time we dispel a myth...there are NO perfect parents.

Geri and I have been parenting for 39 years, and we are still learning as we go. Every age and stage of life presents opportunities and challenges. The key is to continue in the direction of good parenting, even if you make mistakes along the way.

Today, Geri joins me for part two of a podcast where we explore one of the most challenging leadership tasks on earth – emotionally healthy parenting.

Together, we cover 4 critical parenting issues:

Why YOU are your child's biggest problem (and what to do about that)
How to create a SAFE environment in your home
Why CONNECTION is more important than rules
The importance of knowing your POWER with your children

2- day conference for pastors and leaders seeking to build emotionally healthy church cultures.

September 30 – October 1, 2026
14th St. Salvation Army, NYC

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Tuesday May 28, 2024

Emotionally Healthy Parenting, Pt. 1: A Radical Approach to a Difficult Task

🎯 SKILLS FOR FAMILIES: Learn a powerful 5-part conversation tool and teach your family.
https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/community

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Today, we're tackling a relatively untouched topic on the podcast.

Parenting.

Why parenting on a leadership podcast? Among your many roles as a leader, one of the most important (and difficult) relationships is parents and children. The truth is – whether biological, adopted, or spiritual children, we all are called to raise up the next generation.

The reality is – without deep inner work and awareness, parents always repeat exactly as they were parented. You will parent the same way unless you intentionally change your family pattern.

You've heard the Proverb, "Train up a child in the way they should go." (Proverbs 22:6) Emotionally healthy parenting says, "Train up a parent in the way he or she should go."

Today is part one of a two-part series on the longest-lasting relationships you will lead in your entire life. This is for parents with kids of all ages - infant, adolescent, teenager, and adult.

2- day conference for pastors and leaders seeking to build emotionally healthy church cultures.

September 30 – October 1, 2026
14th St. Salvation Army, NYC

Play Download Share

Tuesday May 14, 2024

7 Qualities of an Emotionally Healthy Church Board

🎯 FREE TEAM TRAINING: Grow a healthy team culture with our team transformation videos
https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/team

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One of the most difficult and nuanced callings is serving as a board member of a church or ministry. This role is both legal and spiritual, affecting the entire church culture. Very few are trained to do it well.

Sadly, often it is only after a crisis or scandal that people realize the "Board" was not really functioning, trained, or doing what they were entrusted to do.

But the truth is – that healthy, thriving, flourishing churches have healthy, thriving, flourishing boards.

In today's podcast episode, I outline the 7 must-have qualities for building an emotionally healthy board. When your board gets these 7 things right, everyone in your church wins for the long haul.

2- day conference for pastors and leaders seeking to build emotionally healthy church cultures.

September 30 – October 1, 2026
14th St. Salvation Army, NYC