Unmet and unclear expectations create havoc in churches, families, friendships, marriages, and leadership teams. We expect other people to know what we want before we say it, especially when we know them well. The problem, however, is that most of these expectations are 1. Unconscious; 2. Unrealistic; 3. Unspoken; and 4. Un-agreed upon. In this podcast, I talk with Rich about the power of this Emotionally Healthy Relationship Course skill to transform our lives and teams. We discuss how the issue of expectations intersects with discipleship, job descriptions, and the grief we experience when they remain unmet. Listen at the link below. LISTEN HERE I am also very excited to announce that The Emotionally Healthy Leadership Conference Video Package (May 3-4, 2017) is now available for only $49. Not only will you receive our best and most current thinking about EHS as a radical discipleship paradigm for the 21st century, you will also learn. Read more.
When Geri and I became committed followers of Christ, we learned about spiritual disciplines – Bible Study, worship, giving, community, prayer, spiritual gifts, etc. We immersed ourselves in the best of Christian training and discipleship for years. It was always confusing, however, that people in the church were supposedly growing in love for God, but they clearly weren’t growing into greater love for people. We couldn’t figure out why people with “great passion” for Christ and Scripture were often defensive, judgmental, critical, unapproachable and unsafe to be around. (Sadly, this was often true for us as well.) We gradually acknowledged a painful truth – the quality of love inside the church was not really that different from the quality of love among people outside the church. How could this be, especially when Jesus repeatedly linked love for God with love for others as the essence of true spirituality? The answer lies, I believe, in. Read more.
Every year at our Emotionally Healthy Leadership Conference I am asked: “How is supervision in an emotionally healthy church different? What makes it distinct?” In emotionally healthy teams, role expectations are openly talked about and agreed upon. We evaluate how we are doing. But that is not enough. How people care for their inner lives is also important. The question is, “How important?” The answer is: “Very important.” Minimally transformed leaders will always result in minimally transformed teams doing minimally transforming ministry. How could we expect it to be any other way? As a result, there are four areas that we ask about on a regular basis: 1. How is your walk with Jesus? In other words, tell me about your rhythms of being with God and doing for God. How are you living out of your Rule of Life in this season? How has God been coming to you? I was so blessed. Read more.
I believe in the indispensable place of building the local church, preaching sermons, and speaking at conferences. The problem is we can do these things and still not make disciples who make disciples (Matt.28:18-20). That involves focusing on a few. It is one thing to know about Jesus’ plan of discipling the 12 over a three-year period for the sake of the world; it is another thing to actually follow Him in a similar strategy. I think I am finally getting it. Geri and I drastically shifted our global strategy in our trip to Korea and Singapore this August. Instead of doing large EH Leadership conferences, we chose to invest ourselves in a small group of highly committed people in both countries. This picture below is Geri and I speaking last year. (We are the little dots on the stage). Are you impressed? Don’t be. Now this picture below is Geri and I speaking. Read more.
What is leading out of your marriage or singleness? In this month’s Emotionally Healthy Leadership podcast Rich Villodas and Pete Scazzero continue the conversation around this core leadership theme in Pete’s new book: The Emotionally Healthy Leader. We hope you will take 15 minutes to view and consider sharing it with other leaders. Click the image below to watch the conversation on YouTube.
One of the high points of our EH Leadership Conference this past week was Geri’s opening message around Jesus’ conversation with Nicodemus. The following is an excerpt. “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.” “How can this be?” Nicodemus asked. “You are Israel’s teacher,” said Jesus, “and do you not understand these things? Nicodemus, one of the top spiritual leaders of all Israel, seems clueless to the deep transformational spirituality that Jesus is talking about. Jesus looks at him with a bit of shock and says: “How can it be that you’re a leader in God’s Kingdom and… You have little or no emotional connection with your spouse, children, parents, siblings, friends, or congregation You have not had emotional or physical intimacy with your spouse for weeks, months, years You intimidate others with your anger You are defensive, critical, and judgmental You avoid. Read more.