Know Yourself that You May Know God

You are not God. But it is impossible to know God without first knowing yourself. Many Christians believe that denying ourselves means we are to dismiss our own thoughts, feelings, and desires. But as Augustine said in 400 A.D., “How can you draw close to God when you are far from your own self?” Augustine then prayed, “Grant, Lord, that I may know myself that I may know thee.” This means, as Paul writes, we must learn how to put off our false self, and put on our new self in Christ. (Eph. 4:22) Today, on the podcast, we continue an 8-week series in which we explore the seminal work from Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. If you are a pastor, leader, or listener and you want to grow in emotional health, this series is a must-listen. If you missed the first episode on the problem of emotionally unhealthy spirituality, you can listen to it here. As we say – you can’t be. Read more.

Solitude: The Pathway to Your True Self

When I asked my PhD friend to reflect, after over 30 years of therapy with high-powered executives and pastors, why leaders have such a difficult time stopping and being still. He laughed. “Pete,” he replied with a smile, “They are terrified. They can’t stop. Their self is so tied into achievement, into their doing and work, they are afraid they will die if they stop.” This Isenheim Altarpiece painted by Matthias Grünewald some time between 1512 and 1516 captures the intense struggle to die to the false self. We see ugly demons trying to torment Anthony of Athanasius to leave the place of solitude with Jesus. Each of us needs to fashion our own desert where we can withdraw and allow the gentle touch of Jesus free us. The shape of the discipline of solitude will look different for each of us. But one thing is sure — a fruitful life can only flow out. Read more.

Journeying Through Our Collective Dark Night of the Soul

In this podcast, I apply John of the Cross’ extraordinary work on the dark night written almost 500 years ago to the unique situation in which we find ourselves – a global, collective dark night of the soul. We may not know what God is doing, where He is going, how He is getting us there, or when this will be over. But I do believe there is one thing we can know: This is potentially a deeply transformational season in which God empties us of things hindering the inflowing of His life into the depths of our being. This dark night of loving fire is His invitation to allow Him to lead us by another road, cultivating a lifestyle of a more contemplative, a more patient, a more silent waiting on Him, offering Jesus space to invade us during this season. Why? He wants to do something extraordinary in us, so much so. Read more.

Becoming a More Differentiated Leader: Part 2 – EH Leader Podcast

Growing in differentiation is hard. The only thing harder, at least in the long-run, is not doing that hard work. Differentiation, as I talked about in Part 1, involves remaining connected to people and yet not having your reaction or behaviors determined by them. Our primary task, like Jesus, is to calmly differentiate our true self from the demands and voices around us, discerning the vision, pace, and mission the Father has uniquely given us. In this podcast I talk about four practical truths that can help us make the radical transition of dismantling our false self in order to lead faithfully out of our true self in Christ: Paying attention to our interiors in silence and solitude Finding trusted companions Moving out of our comfort zone Praying for courage Join me in this journey. And you’ll discover the fruit of growing into a more differentiated self. You will find that you’ll be less. Read more.

While Pete is Away…

While Pete is unplugged, we looked back at the most read blogs from the past two years. We thought you would enjoy taking a look back as well: 10 Qualities of an Emotionally Healthy Wedding Characteristics of the Emotionally Unhealthy Leader 4 Steps to a Meaningful Sabbath Quit Living Someone Else’s Life Quit Over-functioning My #1 Mistake as a Leader You Know You’re Not Doing Endings Well When… Four Unhealthy Commandments of Church Leadership Symptoms of the False Self Change Your Brain Through Silence and the Daily Office As you plan your discipleship courses for the fall, the How to Lead the EHS Course Training Pack is an excellent practical resource for maximizing the impact of your course in your church. Click here or on the image below to learn more.

The Price of Low Differentiation

Differentiation is hard. Not differentiating is even harder. Differentiation involves remaining connected to people and yet not having your reaction or behavior determined by them. Our primary task, like Jesus, is to calmly differentiate our “true self” from the demands and voices around us, discerning the vision, pace, and mission the Father has uniquely given us. Jesus, of course, models for us a 100% differentiated person. Engaging this challenging, interior work with God is great. The price for not doing so is even greater. The following are my top ten costs: Our church, ministry, or organization slowly declines. Our resistance to make unpopular decisions with ineffective people and programs limits our ability to do the mission God has called us to. We damage the community. A lack of clarity around expectations and roles permeates the community. Disappointments and frustrations are not talked about honestly and respectfully. The wrong people exercise power and leadership. In. Read more.

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