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Tag Archives: tweens

Part two Parenting Teens and Tweens: Connection Is More Important Than Rules

#2 Connection is more important than rules. When they leave the kitchen a mess, don’t clean their rooms, miss the bus, wear attire that’s less than desirable, must have the last word, are sulky, moody or non-talkative, don’t do their chore they way you want, etc, don’t sweat the small stuff. I know that it may not feel like small stuff to you in the moment, but in the realm of what is most important in life it is small potatoes. In the bigger picture it is much more important to stay emotionally connected to them than for you to get your way and get them to follow a rule. It’s not that rules are unimportant. They are. You need, for example, rules for boundaries (they can be angry but no verbal attacks) and rules of engagement (no cell phones at dinner table so we can be present with one another). But do not. Read more.

Parenting Teens and Tweens: I am my kids biggest problem

At a recent Youth event for the parents of tweens and teens at NLF I had the privilege of being interviewed. Here are two of my most important lessons as a parent: #1     I  am my kids’ biggest problem. This was in response to the first question, “What’s the most important piece of advice you can give to parents of tweens and teens?” This was not hard for me to answer. This is something I have thought long and hard about and has been a guiding principle for me for years. The following quote about leadership (Every parent is a leader in their home.) sheds  light on why we as parents are potentially our kids’ biggest problem: A leader is someone with the power to project either shadow or light upon some part of the world, and upon the lives of the people who dwell there. A leader shapes the ethos in. Read more.