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Tag Archives: pretending.

The False Self

The false self is pretending, consciously or unconsciously, to be somebody you are not. Defensive and superficial, it severely limits our relationships and our effective witness for Christ. The following is a brief inventory to determine how much of a mask, or false self,  you are wearing: I sometimes say “yes” when I really prefer to say “no.” I often need to be approved by others to feel good about myself. I often remain silent in order to avoid conflict. When I make mistakes, I feel like a failure. At times, I compromise my own values and principles to avoid looking weak or foolish. My self-image soars with complements and is crushed by criticism. I do for others, at times, what they can and should do for themselves. I am fearful and reluctant to take risks. I often go along with what others want rather than “rock the boat.” I compare myself a lot. Read more.

The Illusion of a "Strong" Church

What looks like great strength is actually great weakness. What appears to be great weakness is actually great strength. We think a “strong church” is big in numbers, powerful in influence, has great programs, lots of money, great buildings, a gifted staff, and tens of thousands of Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram followers. As Jean Vanier says, the push of the world is to pretend we are big. We are not. We are extremely,  fragile, dependent, and vulnerable. Paul learned a hard truth over many years and though much pain – that “God’s power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor.12:9). What will it take for me, for us, to deeply learn this and thus become the change our world so desperately needs?

The Illusion of “Fast” Church

We want deep churches where people are transformed. We also want wide churches that grow rapidly in numbers. The problem is that these two values are often incompatible. Think about it. Let’s say you are committed to bridging racial barriers in the church. That requires you slow down enough to listen to people’s stories, to ponder the complexity of structural and personal racism, to wrestle with issues of power and privilege, to read history and perspectives different than your own. Let’s take sexuality, singleness, and marriage. You can offer a class for 300 people at a time, touching broad theological issues at the 10,000-foot level. The problem, however, is that the issues are highly complex and nuanced. Each person and marriage has personal questions and struggles that require one-on-one conversations. The very preparation for this kind of formation slows you down. Think about the breadth of what is involved in a person’s formation in. Read more.