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Tag Archives: emotion

Pastoral Burnout and Self-Compassion

A study conducted out of Duke University, published in 2011, looked at the four primary factors of why clergy burnout: Desire to please others. Fear of letting parishioners down or not living up to their expectations can leave clergy depleted….Clergy high in desire to please neglect their hobbies, families, and spirituality, fear letting down congregants, and have a hard time saying no to requests. Clergy low in desire to please reserve time for their personal lives without feeling selfish or anxious about disappointing others. Guilt or shame proneness. Overall, “shame is considered the more painful emotion because one’s core self—not simply one’s behavior—is at stake”. Self-compassion. Self-compassion entails offering kindness, patience, and understanding to oneself during times of failure or disappointment. Individuals high in self-compassion recognize that others go through similar experiences and feel connected rather than isolated during times of pain. (They) neither ignore nor ruminate about their own shortcomings. Differentiation of self from role Beebe (2007) found. Read more.

Pastoral Burnout and Self-Compassion

A study conducted out of Duke University, published in 2011, looked at the four primary factors of why clergy burnout: Desire to please others. Fear of letting parishioners down or not living up to their expectations can leave clergy depleted….Clergy high in desire to please neglect their hobbies, families, and spirituality, fear letting down congregants, and have a hard time saying no to requests. Clergy low in desire to please reserve time for their personal lives without feeling selfish or anxious about disappointing others. Guilt or shame proneness. Overall, “shame is considered the more painful emotion because one’s core self—not simply one’s behavior—is at stake”. Self-compassion. Self-compassion entails offering kindness, patience, and understanding to oneself during times of failure or disappointment. Individuals high in self-compassion recognize that others go through similar experiences and feel connected rather than isolated during times of pain. (They) neither ignore nor ruminate about their own shortcomings. Differentiation of self. Read more.

Books that Have Formed Me Spiritually: Part 3

Here are my final 3 books that have shaped my walk with Christ: Fill These Hearts, Christopher West All of us are here because of sexuality. God has built it not only into our bodies but into the core of the universe. To read Christopher West is to ignite one’s heart about all the ways God has given us to know Him and satisfy our deepest hungers. The study of God (theology) is built right into our bodies. Dance of Anger, Harriet Lerner I have found that anger is a very complex, misunderstood emotion and causes a lot of pain by being ignored and/or abused. We’re not any holier for stuffing it and worse off if we explode. Christians need to learn how to acknowledge and process anger. Lerner practically unpacks the emotion of anger. Opening to God: Lectio Divina and Life as Prayer, David Benner David’s book brought me to heaven each time I opened it reminding. Read more.

I Will Quit Lying

I will become brutally honest with MYSELF first. I will admit what I am really thinking, really feeling, and what I really want. I will declare my truth to others, not fearing what they think, because it is a gift to be told the truth. That truth can be as simple as “I don’t want to eat at that restaurant” or “I don’t want to see that movie”, or it can be as big as “ I am afraid of your reaction” or “I was deeply hurt that you did not call” or “I lied to you.”

Am I Growing as a Leader?

There are few things the world needs more than leaders who know themselves and know God, who are able to differentiate from the countless voices around them and do the Father’s will. The following are a few makers of a life with a growing, differentiated self: Life becomes easier. More ability to choose between thinking and feeling. More ability to choose one’s emotions. Less worry about what other’s think. People in one’s family are doing better. Goals become clearer. An ability to “stay out” of others’ emotions. More curiosity. Clearer thinking. Thinking systems more often. Better health, fewer symptoms of all kinds. Able to take a well, thought-out position. More goals become realities. Better, cleaner relationships Are you progressing on this difficult journey of leading others? Let me encourage you to read, or re-read, chapter four in Emotionally Healthy Spirituality (“Know Yourself that You May Know God”) and The Emotionally Healthy Woman (This is. Read more.