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Tag Archives: marriage

Meeting God in the Wilderness: A Summer Reflection

Geri and I just returned from 7 days in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness, a 1,090,000-acre (4,400 km2) area on the border of Minnesota and Canada. A motorized boat carried us deep into the wilderness. They picked us up 7 days later at the same location. There would be no emergency number for us or our family, no cell phone contact, and no ability to leave early. This was on Geri’s bucket list. She has been preparing since January and was thrilled. I was reluctant but following her, hoping for the best. Nonetheless, it turned out to be one of the best weeks of my life. God had a few things He wanted to teach me: His love really is found in nature. We canoed from campsite to campsite and portaged, i.e. carried our canoe and gear over land between lakes, as needed. For years Geri had been telling me to get my nose out of a book. Read more.

Clarify Expectations and Change Your Life

Unmet and unclear expectations create havoc in churches, families, friendships, marriages, and leadership teams. We expect other people to know what we want before we say it, especially when we know them well. The problem, however, is that most of these expectations are 1. Unconscious; 2. Unrealistic; 3. Unspoken; and 4. Un-agreed upon. In this podcast, I talk with Rich about the power of this Emotionally Healthy Relationship Course skill to transform our lives and teams. We discuss how the issue of expectations intersects with discipleship, job descriptions, and the grief we experience when they remain unmet. Listen at the link below. LISTEN HERE I am also very excited to announce that The Emotionally Healthy Leadership Conference Video Package (May 3-4, 2017) is now available for only $49. Not only will you receive our best and most current thinking about EHS as a radical discipleship paradigm for the 21st century, you will also learn. Read more.

The Most Important Question For Every Leader

The word “listen” or “hear” is found more than 1500 times in the Bible. The problem is that it is easy to lead FOR God without listening TO God. That is why the most important question every one of us must ask throughout our days is: “God, how are you coming to me, what might you want to say?” The question then needs to be applied specifically to different areas of our lives. Let me provide you with a few examples of what that looks like in my life: Time with God. “God, how are you coming to me in Scripture and silence today?” At times he leads me to linger over a passage, a phrase, or a text for days – even weeks. At times he leads me to read whole books of Scripture in one sitting. While I practice 20 minutes of silence and stillness each morning, I am also listening to. Read more.

The Leader’s Spouse, Part 2: An EH Leader Podcast

The conversation with Geri Scazzero continues in this second segment of The Leader’s Spouse podcast. In this podcast, Geri shares candidly: The hazardous “second hand smoke” experienced by a leader’s spouse Overfunctioning and God’s invitation to quit overfunctioning as a gift of love and maturity for others and yourself Living your one unrepeatable God-given life To read more, see The Emotionally Healthy Woman. Click below to watch the video or the link to listen to the audio file. LISTEN HERE

The Leader’s Spouse: An EH Leader Podcast

Being a leader’s spouse is one of the most challenging roles a person can face in life – especially in the church. For this reason, we dedicated this podcast to talk with Geri about the hard lessons she has learned over the last 30 years in this area. In this podcast, you’ll hear Geri’s response to a number of questions such as: If the young spouse of a pastor came to you and asked, “Tell me one thing you wish you knew before you got started,” what might that be? How did you manage the pressure of people and their expectations? Why are concepts like differentiation and enmeshment so important if one is going to thrive as a leader’s spouse? Click below to watch the video or the link to listen to the audio file. Enjoy! LISTEN HERE – Pete @petescazzero

The 10 Laws of Respect

In our early years of equipping marriages at New Life, Geri and I regularly used a very helpful curriculum called Third Option.  We soon discovered, however, that a few of their concepts also were applicable beyond marriages for the reshaping of the culture of our family and teams at church. This included a definition of respect as “how we treat each other” (over against how we think or feel about a certain person at a given moment). Initially, we kept these “Bill of Rights” posted on our refrigerator to serve us in the first steps of our journey into emotionally healthy spirituality. These are the simple “Respect” guidelines: I, and others, have a right to: Space and Privacy Be Different Disagree Be Heard Be Taken Seriously Be Given the Benefit of the Doubt Be Told the Truth Be Consulted Be Imperfect and Make Mistakes Courteous and Honorable Treatment Imagine how our churches, families, and. Read more.