I am enjoying leading New Life Fellowship Church more than at any time I can remember. It is not related to circumstances as it has been in the past, nor is it short-lived. It is something much deeper.

I am not sure of all the reasons, but I know the application of differentiation to pastoring and living has removed much of my anxiety and faulty thinking. The following, adapted from David Schnark, summarizes what I have worked on internally amidst the complexities of life/leadership.

4 Points to Personal Integrity/Differentiation

1. Solid sense of Self in close promixity to important others who pressure you to conform.

2. Regulate your own anxiety (self-soothe).

3. Non-reactive (not indifferent) to other’s anxiety and reactivity.

4. Willingness to tolerate pain for growth.

This has helped keep me centered and listening to God each day, and it has made all the difference.

What has enabled you to center and listen?

At NLF a few weeks ago, we had a one day course with my good friend, Scott Sunquist a global church historian from Pittsburg Theological Seminary. He focused on implications and lessons from the past for today, beginning with the Protestant missionary movement of the 17th century and then moving to the church in Africa and the Pacific.  It was an outstanding day, one that left us with much to ponder as we consider our mission for Christ.

The following were my top applications:

1. Earliest Protestant missionaries were from the margins of the church, that is common people, not professional clergy. The Moravians, the Methodists, the Baptists (e.g. William Carey) were common people with passion and zeal for Jesus.Their stories filled me with great excitement and vision to challenge our own people to “Expect great things from God and attempt great things for God.”

2. One of the applications that came out of this was our need to instill in our own people a deep sense of being missionaries/chaplains at their place of work. Imagine if every person in our churches saw themselves as an evangelist/prophet pastoring their workplace for Christ, sent there by Him to proclaim the gospel and make disciples! With secularization we are now in a missionary situation in the West.  I don’t think we have taken this very seriously as of yet.

3. Scott’s global and historical perspective also gave a unique vantage point on how materialism is strangling us in the USA. We were able to see so clearly our own idols around comfort and security, especially when considering the rest of the global church. For most USA Christians, the idea of a tithe continues to be a bit extreme as is the idea of centering our entire lives around Christ, not upward mobility. I came away under profound conviction to do a better job teaching in this area.

4. I was challenged by the explosion of Christianity in Africa where one half of the continent is now Christian. Their openness to signs/wonders/visions/dreams/the prophetic for mission has driven me to prayer, asking God what He might be saying to us today. What new initiatives does the Holy Spirit want to unleash in and through us at NLF? Through our young people? Through a neo-monastacism? Through new forms of radical leadership development initiatives?  

 5. Finally, we talked about the great reversal, how the world is coming here to the West. “The Empire is striking back.”  This has large implications for us in Queens with its 2.2 million people, with over 65% being foreign born, as well as the rest of North America.

What other global, historical trends do you see with large implications for us in the church today?

If I were to identify the number one error I have committed more than any other as a pastor the last twenty years, I would have to talk about imprudence. 

Proverbs is filled with teaching to cultivate this very rare virtue.  I have rushed, reacted, failed to ponder implications of decisions, spoken when it was best to be silent, moved out of anxiety instead of stilling my own soul.  

I recently studied every verse in Proverbs about prudence and speech. It was both edifying and sobering. The following are a sampling I shared at a recent NLF staff meeting. I commend them to you for your prayerful meditation:   

 The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways -Prov. 14:8

 A simple man believes anything,
         but a prudent man gives thought to his steps.-Prov. 14:15

 The discerning heart seeks knowledge,
   but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly.  -Prov. 15:14

 The heart of the righteous weighs its answers,
   but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.-Prov. 15:28

 It is not good to have zeal without knowledge,
  nor to be hasty and miss the way.  -   Prov. 19:2

 The plans of the diligent lead to profit
  as surely as haste leads to poverty.  - Prov. 21:5

 A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge,
  but the simple keep going and suffer for it. - Prov. 22:3

 Finish your outdoor work and get your fields ready;
  after that, build your house.- Prov. 24:27

 The prudent see danger and take refuge,
  but the simple keep going and suffer for it.   Prov. 27:12

 When words are many, sin is not absent,
 but he who holds his tongue is wise.  -Prov. 10:19

 A man of knowledge uses words with restraint,
  and a man of understanding is even-tempered.�
 Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent,
  and discerning if he holds his tongue.  -Prov. 17:27-28

Do you see a man who speaks in haste, There is more hope for a fool than for him.-Prov. 29:20

Why do you think prudence is such a rare virtue among us today?

This weekend Geri and I are leading a retreat for 16 couples in NJ. It is the fruit of over 12  years of thinking about a theology of sexuality, marriage and spirituality. We limited the retreat purposefully and spent an inordinate amount of time creating a one and a half day experience in Scripture, small groups, time alone with God and emotionally healthy skills.  It will be the first of 2 parts that we hope to make more permanent a part of NLF culture for all marrieds.

It was a challenge for me to clear my life the last two weeks in preparation. I find myself easily pulled into larger, more “grandiose ministry”. God used her groundedness and this weekend to pull me down to earth (humus-humility) about what is really important. That is integrity in our spiritual lives and vocations — whether we are single or married.
Paul makes clear that if we are skimming on our families, we are not in order. We are not going to be able to lead or be a healthy church family (1 Tim. 3:5). The quality of our ministries will be impacted by the quality of our marriages.

If you are married, your vocation is your spouse first, along with any children God has given you.  This covenant takes priority over work, church and all other people. Paul refers to the one flesh union of husband and wife as a foreshadowing of Christ’s union with His bride, the church (Eph. 5:31-32). For this reason our marriage and sexuality are meant to proclaim and image our union with Christ. Our marital union is to be a picture, and experience, of receiving and giving the love of God. That is quite a calling and mission.

Few know such a joy and grasp the kingdom implications of such a vocation.

Understanding singleness as a vocation is also essential. Some are called to “sacrifice marriage for the sake of the kingdom” (Matt. 19:12). Celibacy is not a rejection of sexuality but a call to embrace its ultimate purpose. The “one flesh” union is a pointer to something far more glorious - the eternal union of Christ and the church. Those who choose Christian celibacy skip earthly marriage to devote themselves to the eternal one.

Both vocations - marriage and singleness -need to be affirmed biblically and strongly.

Nonetheless,  most important thing in the life of all married people is their marriage. If that is true, what change do you need to make in your schedule this week?

How connected is your singleness, your sexuality, your marriage to your spirituality really? Why is there such a large disconnect in the church today?

Poetry has a wonderful way to draw out of us our true self before God.  Read the following poem slowly, prayerfully. Listen to what God might be saying to you today about His will for you.

The Wisdom of the Deer

…a deer
standing before me
shamelessly
  telling me by his presence
  through his very manner of being there
what I did
  was
  all I could do
 what I did
 was truly
 all I could do.
 the deer didn’t move
 for what seemed like the longest time
 kept standing there
 unflinching
 regal
 as if the fallen leaves
 adorning his great hall
     were lush earthen carpet
 and I had been grated a brief audience
 with a nobility
 whose lineage was pure and undefiled
 and then I understood
 the wisdom of the deer
 the secret to my own dignity
 all I have ever been
 is all I will ever need
 I must look back
 And respectfully awaken the hero of my person journey
 the whole story
 imperfections and all
 is where the treasure resides
 no need to be in the future
    out there
    in the next big thing
I already have one thing
     a communion with my self.        -Kent Osborne, When Widsom Come

What phrase, line most speaks to you today?  Why is it so challenging for you, for us, to live out the wisdom of the deer?

Last week I attended and spoke at the Christian Community Development Association conference (CCDA) in Miami. Over 2000 people were in attendance.  The work of John Perkins and CCDA, along with their commitment to racial reconciliation and relocation to live among the poor, helped shape my journey for Christ almost thirty years ago as well as our work here at New Life.

Most leaders in attendance are very busy. I also became acutely aware of the growing impact of emotionally healthy spirituality around the country. Both realties concerned me. Then, as I sat in my hotel room one early morning, God came to me through the following: 

Abba Anthony received letter from emperor Constantine to visit him in Constantinople. He wondered if he should go and asked Abba Paul who said, “If you go, you will be called Anthony, but if you stay here (in desert alone), you will be called Abba Anthony. “  

An “abba’ was someone recognized as a person of spiritual depth and authority.  I wondered about how much I could give in outside speaking without losing part of my soul.  It is easier, in some ways, to go speak, write, do, etc. than to retreat alone with God, especially with mounting opportunities. Integrity, at least for me, means strict limits and focus around large blocks of silence before God, continued investment in my marriage, parenting and New Life Fellowship’s staff and leadership.

I was reminded of Henri Nouwen when he was invited to White House to be with Clinton’s during their ordeal over the Lewinski. At the time, he was living in the L’Arch community in Toronto for the disabled. He sent his apologies  saying “I don’t want to be a court chaplin. I am here with Adam, my disabled friend. There are others who can go to the White House. Adam needs me.”

What might be the fruits of such a commitment over ten, twenty or thirty years in our lives and that of those around us?

I was driving to church the other day for a series of staff meetings and realized I was excited. There was nothing else I wanted to do!

What had changed? For most of my 21 years as senior pastor of NLF, most of the time I went grudgingly, preferring to be home alone in prayer and study. 

Something clicked spiritually a fourteen months ago: all of life is holy and to be lived in the presence of God. For example, managing, looking over job descriptions, discerning the best use of time, energy and money at NLF, planning, hiring, getting the right people in the right roles is sacred work, very sacred work - as sacred as my Daily Offices and Sabbath.

God invited me to take responsibility and lead NLF. I am here. But I resisted this role for almost 20 years. I suspect this is related to bad models, poor teaching and faulty theology, but the bottom line (at least for me), has been my character. I no longer choose the easiest things that fit my gifts and temperment, but the best thing before God (which is often quite difficult)

All of life is to be lived out of communion with Him.

The following little chart about prayer is what I apply to my daily life. It may help you as you seek to integrate a contemplative life into your active days. I know it has mine.

Prayer =Awareness of the Presence of God All Day Long 

 1__________________________________________________________________________________10

None     Less 2 Min        5 Min.       30 Min.      2 Hours       Half Day        Most of Day     Pray Always          

                                                                                                                                        (heaven)

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always (lit. with all perseverance) keep on praying for all the saints.   Eph. 6:18

Do you think a lot of us as pastors/leaders have this split of sacred/secular in our ministries or was it just me?

Geri and I were in the car last weekend driving in beautiful upstate New York, taking one of our daughters to look at colleges and began talking about the dynamics of leadership. Soon, we realized we had stumbled upon a simple, but powerful process of leading well - at least in God’s church — that is now helping us quite a bit.

1. Monitor Your Heart.  Whether it is preparing for sermons, reading a book on strategy, sitting through a staff meeting, or deciding on priorities, I am guarding my heart.  Is my motive really God’s glory or is this about me?  Am I anxious? If so why, and how is that impacting my decisions now? Am I avoiding a challenging reality? a confrontation? Is the content of this sermon I am preparing simply head knowledge? How does it speak to my life? Am I really living what I am preaching?  This of course requires solitiude, silence and reflection time.

2. Monitor Your Time.  It was Peter Drucker who wrote in these famous words in The Effective Executive: “Effective executives do not start with their tasks. They start with their time.”  In light of my commitment to communion with God, prayer, my wife, children, a contemplative life, Sabbath-keeping, a life without hurry, how much time do I really have today? for this project?  Where is my time going?

3.  Monitor Your Tasks. At this point, then I set up clearly the goals and the steps toward that goal. Yesterday I had a meeting with our four person teaching team. It took me an hour to prepare my goals, steps, and to time out the meeting. I had notes in a file folder I had been compiling the previous 2 weeks. Then I went back to my heart and then determined the time for each section of the meeting. I also had three individual meetings with staff that report to me. I did the same process. I then prayed through my day, listening to God for any further adjustments.

It was a good day. I think I am slowly learning how this kind of preparation is part of the holy work of leadership.  Thoughts?

This past summer I got to know Tom Ashbrook, one of the founders of an evangelical monastic order called Imago Christi, a ministry of spiritual formation within Church Resource Ministries http://www.imagochristi.org/default.aspx. He later gave me a copy of his doctoral dissertation on Teresa of Avila’s Interior Castle and I was deeply impacted. I reread the Interior Castle as a result and found his work immensely helpful in my own prayer journey as well as our work in helping others to pray. Most evangelicals, he argues (rightly in my opinion), do not get beyond the 3rd mansion to the 4th and beyond. There are seven mansions.  

He writes: “As the believer enters the 4th Mansion, there develops a divinely bestowed absorption in knowing, loving, and seeking God.  God has now enflamed the heart. The motivates are driven by love rather than by obligation, personal gain, blessing others, or even doing the right thing  The beloved has heard the call of the Lover and a hunger and thirst are created, that were hardly known to the Christian formally.” 

He quotes another author, Dubay, who says of the 4th Mansion: “Key to St. Teresa’s explanation of the 4th Mansion is the occupation of the will with God. At the moment when this prayer is given, the soul is captive, she remarks, and I am not free to love anything but God. Teresa explains that this experience begins in prayer but then transcends all of life… Relationship with God has grown to the point where, as Teresa says, Mary and Martha now work together. There is an integration and balance of active ministry and life with the inner world of prayer and reflection. … the beloved becomes more interested in the “words” of the Lover than his or her own. Prayer is now about one’s relationship with God than obtaining specific favors. Intercession continues, but is now more responsive to the leading of the Holy Spirit than telling God what, when, and how to accomplish the desired act.”

Good stuff. Worth pondering. I did a sermon on it Sept. 28, 2008 called Prayer: Walking on Water. Check it out.
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Last Sunday I preached on “Rest: Learning from Jesus” (John 12:1-8). I loved preparing, praying, thinking, and delivering it. I felt exhilarated when it was over.

My schedule was relaxed after church. I met with a single mom and a couple of others congregants and visitors. I then realized I could make my 14 year old daughter’s soccer game. Geri and I generally take turns and I had been at Saturday’s game, but I thought it would be great to surprise them both.

So I got into my car and began driving like a maniac – cutting though lanes, squeezing between cars in NYC traffic, pressing just a little harder on that accelerator. In the process, I cut off one of our associate pastors who was watching all this and laughing hysterically with his 17 year old in the car! They had just heard me preach my magnificent message on “Rest: Learning from Jesus.”

When he retold the story at our staff meeting, I thought to myself, “Is he talking about me?” Everyone was hysterical laughing. Then, of course, my memory was jolted and I realized it was me. He wasn’t exaggerating. I laughed with them but I was embarrassed.

I knew God was speaking to me. I am making progress in listening to God’s deeper rhythms and in making better decisions to live a “whole” life. Nonetheless, I have blind spots and areas to which God needs access.

Thank God for others who help us see truth, in all of its forms. It hurts but it is the indispensable for growth. Slowly, I am realizing how very difficult, uncomfortable and challenging it is, both for me and others, to live a truly slowed down life with Jesus. Old habits die very, very slowly.