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5 Relationships Every Leader Needs to Flourish
Posted on: Tuesday April 16, 2024

✅ How Healthy is Your Leadership? Take this short and free quiz to find out. // https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/leadership-assessment/

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The quality of the people who surround you will determine the success of your leadership. Because there is undeniable loneliness in leadership, it is ever more important that we evaluate our relationships on a regular basis.

Sadly, far too many pastors and leaders choose to go it alone, or surround themselves with foolish counsel (in the form of wrong relationships)

That's why in today's podcast, I explore the five types of relationships you need in your life in order to flourish as a leader or pastor.

Honestly, I wish I had this list 30 years ago. It would have saved me from confusion, foolish decision-making, and unnecessary isolation!
Archives:
Tuesday February 21, 2023
Many of us have come to believe that the Christian life is synonymous with constant happiness. We think we're on the right track if the trajectory of our lives is "up and to the right" - always improving, always leveling up.

But this way of thinking leaves little room for grief and sadness. When we experience real loss, we see it as an abnormal alien invasion, not as a divine invitation.

And yet, Jesus shows us that to welcome and hold sorrow before God is central to our leadership and discipleship.

In today's podcast episode, I share the importance of finding the treasure buried in grief and loss, and how we can train other leaders to do the same.

I encourage you to watch our full training video online in our Leader's Training Vault. It's completely free and only takes one minute to register.

For now, you can listen to today's episode here...
Tuesday February 07, 2023

I was 19 when I came to Christ and started my training as a Christian leader.

As a young leader, I was taught many valuable things. But nobody told me about the most powerful gift leaders can bring to those they lead.

But I've learned (through my own failures) that the greatest gift leaders can actually give is becoming an "incarnational presence" – being DEEPLY PRESENT with people like Jesus.

In today's podcast episode, we look at the norm for most churches and leaders, but then we'll explore the beauty of what can happen in our church cultures when we learn to lead in this way.

I encourage you to watch our full training video online in our Leader's Training Vault. It's completely free and only takes one minute to register.

For now, you can listen to today's episode here...

Tuesday January 24, 2023

As a pastor or leader, your primary role is to develop and disciple others.

More than simply "getting things done", we are called to prioritize the growth and maturity of the people and leaders around us. We do this by learning particular skills and tools with which we can coach our leaders, our team, and those in our ministry. 
 
One game-changing tool that I use to coach others is called the “Genogram”.

The genogram is a powerful visual map to document the history and dynamics of our family relationships and their impact on us, over three to four generations.
 
In today's episode, I share the 6 stages I use to coach other leaders through the Genogram so that you can do the same.
Tuesday January 10, 2023

Not long ago I was spending time with some young pastors, hoping to learn how leaders today define ministry success. The word "influence" seemed to be a common theme.

Many leaders obsess over growing their followers, gaining digital credibility, and creating captivating sound bites for social media. While there is nothing wrong with having a following, there exists a pressure and allure to making that the primary scorecard for ministry impact. This way of thinking only leads to destruction.

In many ways, this is nothing new. The 3 deadly temptations that Jesus faced in the desert, are the exact temptations we face as leaders, no matter what generation you are from.

Thursday December 22, 2022
Does the end of the year feel like a complete whirlwind?

For most pastors and leaders Christmas activities dominate the month of December and then we only get a week's break before launching into a new year!

In January, pastors face the difficult task of vision-casting, goal-setting, and steering the direction of the church for the next 12 months.

Too often, our planning is driven by:
  • Expectations from others (i.e. board, supervisors, people we serve)
  • Internal pressure to be a great leader or to create momentum.
  • The “shoulds" of everything that feels important. (i.e. “We should be doing more of this...")
All of these things can feel like a tremendous weight, under which many pastors buckle over time.

But planning doesn't have to feel this way.

In today's episode, I want to show you a radical new approach to planning. I'll show you how I plan for the season ahead in a way that produces joy, not anxiety.
Monday December 12, 2022
Great leadership is about knowing who you are and who you are not.
In part one of this podcast series, I shared the first 5 marks of a highly-differentiated leader.
On today's podcast, I continue by sharing 5 more attributes that deserve careful consideration.

Why? Because the cost of lowly-differentiated leadership is enormous:
  • We diminish the long-term impact of our ministries.
  • We allow the wrong people exercise power and leadership. 
  • We perpetuate immaturity. 
  • We grow resentful and live in dis-ease. 
  • We waste the time, energy, and money of God’s people.
  • We increase anxiety in everyone around us.
  • We, and our community, become less playful (and more “intense/heavy.”)
The good news is that godly, highly-differentiated leadership is the pathway to freedom, a lighter yoke, less worry, better relationships, clearer goals, and more joy!
Tuesday November 29, 2022
Everything rises and falls on the character and inner life of the leader.

The apostle Paul seemed to believe so as well. He writes to his spiritual son Timothy that whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task.” (1 Tim. 3:1)
 
I believe the great need of our day is for us to become godly, highly-differentiated leaders while developing other leaders in the same way.

In today's episode, I share five marks of a highly-differentiated leader and how to start becoming one today. Truth be told - it's hard work. But MUCH harder should you avoid the work.

Highly-differentiated leadership is the pathway to freedom, a lighter yoke, less worry, better relationships, clearer goals, and more joy!
Tuesday November 15, 2022

Every day, people all around us live in a chronic state of dread, anxious about what tomorrow will bring.

Nations and economies are crumbling. News media agitates our deepest fears. It often feels like the ground is shaking beneath our feet.

In a time like this, it is critical that we continue to LIVE and LEAD out of deep rest in Christ.

But how do we break free from the gravitational pull of bad news and despair?

I believe we must recalibrate a biblical vision of HOPE. (Hint: it's more than optimism)
 

Let's be clear – this doesn't happen easily. We must contend for God's vision of reality and vigilantly pursue deep rest in Christ.

In today's podcast episode, I share keys to cultivating hope and deep rest.

Tuesday November 01, 2022

Hiring new staff (paid or volunteer) is one of the most difficult responsibilities of church leadership.  The difference between the right hire and the wrong hire will have long-term consequences in your church.

Two weeks ago on the podcast, I brought the first part of "Emotionally Healthy Hiring (Paid or Volunteer)", in which we covered the first 7 principles that leaders must consider before making a hire.

Today, I bring the second part, offering the next 6 out of 13 principles for emotionally healthy hiring. (It's shocking to hear how often principle #11 is overlooked when hiring staff!)

Tuesday October 18, 2022

Churches around the world are rebuilding in a post-pandemic world. Leaders are assembling new teams and desperately trying to fill vacant positions.

The temptation to cut corners in your hiring process (paid or volunteer) is ENORMOUS. When you feel the pressure to onboard a new worship leader or children's pastor in order to keep "the wheels on the bus", it's easy to make poor hiring decisions.

In today's podcast, I share 7 out of 13 principles that MUST be considered before your next hire. On the following podcast, I'll release part two of this series with the remaining principles.