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5 Relationships Every Leader Needs to Flourish
Posted on: Tuesday April 16, 2024

✅ How Healthy is Your Leadership? Take this short and free quiz to find out. // https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/leadership-assessment/

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The quality of the people who surround you will determine the success of your leadership. Because there is undeniable loneliness in leadership, it is ever more important that we evaluate our relationships on a regular basis.

Sadly, far too many pastors and leaders choose to go it alone, or surround themselves with foolish counsel (in the form of wrong relationships)

That's why in today's podcast, I explore the five types of relationships you need in your life in order to flourish as a leader or pastor.

Honestly, I wish I had this list 30 years ago. It would have saved me from confusion, foolish decision-making, and unnecessary isolation!
Search results for: emotions
Tuesday December 12, 2023
We're in the thick of the holiday season – a time full of joy, yet jam-packed with people, parties, and productions.

This season has a dizzying effect on everyone - but especially leaders. One temptation is to put a smile on our face while skimming over the frustrations, disappointments, and other inner workings of our souls.

We have people and situations that are bothering us at a core level, but rather than leaning into difficult and heartfelt conversations, we choose instead to avoid them. When we do this, we step out of integrity.

This was how I operated for years as a pastor. I had people that were getting under my skin, but no tools to communicate what I was feeling in a healthy way. I chose instead to pretend I was feeling one way when secretly I was angry.

Take a moment to reflect. Is there a situation that is bothering you? 
  • A staff member is chronically late to team meetings
  • Your children are texting during a family meal
  • A volunteer is saying they are doing their role, but they clearly are not
  • A church elder or board member is living a non-exemplary life
  • Someone dropped the ball on getting out promotions for your Christmas Eve service.
Chances are, you have plenty of other examples.

To live and lead with integrity, we must be able to disentangle our emotions and values so we communicate them to others in a healthy way.

This is why my wife Geri and I developed a tool called the "Ladder of Integrity". It's a series of questions that we use to identify our emotions, values, and hopes. This allows us to communicate to others with clarity and kindness.
 
In today's podcast episode, my wife Geri and I share more about climbing the Ladder of Integrity, an essential skill of Emotionally Healthy Relationships
Tuesday November 14, 2023

For the first 17 years of my Christian life, my emotional life was completely divorced from my spiritual life.  Or so I thought.

When sadness, anger, or disappointment surfaced from my soul, I did not see them as gifts. As a leader, I saw my emotions as interruptions to "my real work" – moving the church forward and reaching the lost!

As a result, I was not present with myself, with God, or with others. I saw my sadness as something to be overcome through prayer and Scripture. I would declare, "the joy of the Lord is my strength!" while ignoring the deep cries of my heart.

The truth is that emotions never die. They are only buried alive. They always resurface, leaking into other parts of our lives and relationships. 

It took a work of God for this to change in my life and marriage. When my wife Geri and I discovered the permission to explore our emotional life, it was like opening up a dam. The world went from black and white to color almost overnight.

Emotionally healthy leaders see their emotions as invitations, not obstacles to the mission of God.

The fruit of this journey leads to less anxiety and more freedom in our lives, leadership, and relationships.

In today's podcast episode, my wife Geri and I share more about the skill of emotional discovery we call "Explore the Iceberg" in Emotionally Healthy Relationships
 
Bottom line, your emotional life is a matter of life and death!

Tuesday October 29, 2019

Where did we get the idea that it’s possible to be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature? In this podcast Pete explores the gaps in our theology that have caused such a tragic state of affairs in the church and outlines the core components of integrating emotional health into our discipleship and leadership development.