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10
Sep

7 Marks of an Emotionally Healthy Wedding – EH Leader Podcast

Posted on September 10th, 2019

On August 17th of this year, our daughter, Faith, was married to Brett, a wonderful young man from Australia. They were married here in the New Jersey which meant we were hosting an international wedding with 20-25 guests coming from the other side of the world. As a result, a one-day wedding grew into a larger five-day event.

The wedding offered a window into a unique, high-level application of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship. (Our first wedding was six years ago but didn’t have as many moving parts.) After reflecting on the event, Geri and I reflected on the qualities of an Emotionally Healthy Wedding. Here they are:

  1. We Kept the Focus on the Most Important Part of the Day: the Exchange of The Vows. We invested the necessary time to keep first things first, and served them in shaping a beautiful, sacred ceremony.
  2. We Monitored our Own Hearts and Anxieties. Not only was this an international wedding, but a “do-it-yourself” one. This added to the 1,001 moving parts and details to juggle.
  3. We Stayed Connected with One Another. Geri and I nurtured our own oneness as a couple through the wedding process, staying together emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally.
  4. We Checked in Regularly with Faith to Clarify Expectations. We applied a number of the emotionally healthy skills (Stop Mind Reading, Clarify Expectations, Speaking, Listening) at key moments.
  5. We Gave a Gift of a Fixed Amount of Money and Let Go. Because this was a gift, this was their wedding, not ours. There were no strings attached. They made the decisions and asked us for input along the way. Yes, we went over budget.
  6. We Celebrated with Abandonment. We celebrated with passion with music, dancing, wine, and lots of joy.
  7. We Made Adjustments for Our Self-Care When It Was Over. After the wedding, we were more tired than expected so we took an extra week for vacation before returning back to work.

Enjoy!

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