
Bust through the Wall to Maturity

Posted July 8th, 2010 by Pete Scazzero

Leadership is sacred, holy work before God. Whether it be leadership of our own lives, our churches, our famlies or our finances, it is a challenge to mature through the walls and challenges that confront us. It is easier to remain in anxiety, ruminate needlessly, or become reactive when we are stuck. This happened to me recently at New Life around a complex administrative issue before us. As a result I returned to the following simple,but difficult, emotionally healthy skill called, “Bust through the Wall to Maturity.” After working the simple steps below, over many hours and days, God’s pathway became clear. And I found myself flourishing before Him once again. Give it a try:

1. Identify one specific situation about which you have anxiety or feel stuck.

2. To what conclusions might you be jumping? Pass what you think to be true through the “distorted thinking” lens. Ask yourself: Am I doing…
— All or Nothing Thinking (e.g. “You can’t trust anyone)
—Taking Things Personally or Blaming (e.g. It’s their fault I’m in this mess).
— Things will never change (e.g. I’ll never feel the same again.).

3. What is your goal? What do you want?

4. What are the steps you need to take to reach that goal (Be as specific as possible)?

5. Put them in sequential order.

6. Think through how long it will take to do these steps. What will you need to stop doing/starting doing to ensure you have the time/bandwidth to actually do these step.

7. Do the steps – even when your temptation is to rush or be reactive.

Remaining focused on the goal and planning does not cure anxiety but it sure does calm it! To do this process, before the Lord, is holy, powerful work.

What do you think? What variation has helped you?

Tags: Goals and Steps, Leaderhship and Anxiety, mature leaderhship, The Wall

One Comment

How well does the fact of aging, and its frequent debilitating effects, fit this problem solving rubric?

For instance:

– All or Nothing Thinking: Aging is a fact of life and cannot be overcome. No one’s age has ever gone backward.

– Taking Things Personally or Blaming: Aging is pretty personal but I’ve never heard an argument others can be blamed – they’re aging, too.

– Things Will Never Change: Regarding aging, they won’t. Aging never reverses itself and while, in a very few instances, some people’s health improve with time, aging may mitigate against the benefits of improved health and/or bring new infirmities.

The goal/want? To age well and gracefully. An argument is sometimes advanced that with a “mind over matter” attitude one can ameliorate some of the naturally debilitating effects of aging. But for many people, despite their best mindful efforts, this does not work. In short, despite many people’s best efforts aging brings many unwanted infirmities and debilitating life consequences, all the harder to endure when alone and/or lonely.

Is it perhaps best, past a certain age or life season, for most people who wish to reduce anxiety, to simply set their sights on heaven and pray fervently that God hastens the day of their mortal demise when “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain . . . ” (Rev 21:4)

Posted by: William J. Green // July 15th, 2010 at 11:17 am